RubyRolled!
by Rylak
Summary: Welcome to the wild world of RWBY! Come and watch the crazy antics of all your favorite RWBY characters, and Yang will be there too. Be amazed by how Ruby and co. will parody just about anything. Be terrified by what Blake's bow is really for. Rated T for now, but may change depending on the weather. Always remember that anything is possible.
1. Ruby's Story Book

**Welcome to the first chapter of the maddest Ruby story you will ever see. This will likely have no relation to any of the other chapters further down the road, but who knows. We make this up as we go, don't you know. If you think of anything you would like to see me try my hand at writing, and see the characters of RWBY deal with, then go ahead and suggest it. Anything could be accepted, depending on whether or not I can do it.**

**The idea for this came from reading writer superstarultra's story "You Got HaruhiRolled!". If you enjoy Haruhi Suzumiya, go check that one out too.**

**And so, without any further... stuff. I give you Team RWBY!**

* * *

**Ruby's Little Fairy Tale**

Once upon a time, there was a little girl who wore a red hood and cape. The people of her village called her Little Red Hood, or Little Red for short. Some people called her Little Red Riding Hood, but seriously, where does 'riding' come into this? Nowhere, that's where.

Anyway, one day she was traveling to her grandmother's place with a basket of delicious cookies. After a few minutes of walking, she came to a fork in the road. Why anyone would leave a fork in the middle of the road, she didn't know, so she picked up the fork and put it in her basket. Looking up, she also noticed that the road split into two separate paths.

Little Red put her hands on her hips and frowned. "Which way should I go?" She said.

A voice came from above her, saying. "That way is a good choice!"

Rub- I mean Little Red looked up and saw a lovely lady with long golden locks of hair. She had a wooden pole stuck up the back of her shirt and caught on the collar. She was pointing down the right-hand path.

Without warning, the lady pointed the other direction. "That way's pretty good too!"

Little Red shrugged and started walking down the left path.

Suddenly the lady pointed both ways. "Of course, people do use both roads."

Little Red couldn't let that one go, so she turned to the goldi-locked lady. "How could you say something so ridiculous? Who could ever use both roads? You would have to be able to split into two separate yous."

The lady shrugged. "Fair enough. I lied. Nobody uses the left road."

Little Red nodded triumphantly. "Then I'll go left." She stopped and looked back up at the lady. "How on Earth did you get stuck up there?"

Having misheard, the lady asked a question of her own. "Stuck up their what? And what's Earth?"

Little Red sighed in defeat. "Have you no brain, lady?"

The lady just smiled. "Nope! That's how I got stuck up here. I was climbing this tree, but then I realized it wasn't a tree so I turned around to climb down. That's when my shirt got caught on it. I've been stuck up here since then."

Realizing the lady's distress, Little Red just had to help. She hopped over to the pole and chopped it down. You may be wondering how she chopped it down. Well, don't interrupt the story.

After the lady dusted herself off, they both set out on the left hand road that led into the forest. As they walked through the forest, they found a beautiful young lady sleeping under an apple tree. Her skin was white as snow, as was her hair. Wasting no time, Little Red kissed her on the mouth to wake her up.

She woke up immediately and pushed Little Red away from her. She shouted at Little Red. "I am Snow White, and I demand you take me to the wizard right this moment!"

The golden-haired brainless lady piped up. "The Wizard of Oz?"

Snow White rolled her eyes. "No, Dumbledore."

Little Red jumped up. "What about Merlin? He's the most powerful wizard of them all!"

Snow White jumped out onto the road. "Whatever! Let's just go! I need him to give me a heart!"

"You don't have a heart?" Little Red asked.

The pale girl just stared at her. "No."

Shrugging it off, Little Red and Snow White began walking down the road with the blond brainless lady trailing behind them. Eventually, they came upon a dark part of the forest. None of them knew that this part of the forest was full of dangerous animals, but they all suspected it anyway.

The brainless blond lady, who had brainlessly forgotten to introduce herself, wondered out loud to herself. "I wonder what kinds of dangerous animals live in these woods."

Little Red shrugged. "Bears."

"Ooh..." She said.

Snow White frowned. "Lions."

"Aah... and Tigers?" She asked.

Snow White glared at her. "Don't be ridiculous! Tigers don't live in this part of the world."

"Well, then what about kittens?"

Snow White didn't see any problem with that concept. "Well, I suppose... not Tiger kittens, but other kittens. Like... panther kittens, maybe."

"How about kittens who've lost their mittens?"

Snow White and Little Red looked at her, confused until she pointed behind them. When they looked, sure enough there was a little black kitten who was wearing no mittens, though Snow White and Little Red questioned whether or not this kitten had ever even possessed mittens. However, she was too busy chasing three blind mice to notice the girls who were all watching her.

After a few minutes of waiting and watching, Snow White grew impatient. "HEY YOU!"

The kitten spun around to see them, then immediately turned completely invisible except for her eyes and her mouth. They thought her a strange sight at first, but on closer inspection, they found that the kitten had a bandage on her forehead. Little Red approached the kitten and waited for her to turn visible before reaching out and peeling the bandage off, revealing a crescent moon shape.

Snow White grew impatient again, and addressed the kitten directly. "Who are you?"

":33 Who am I?" Said the kitten. ":33 I'm a purrty cowardly Cheshire kitty! But what's more impurrtant is that you are Sailo-

* * *

Weiss slammed the book closed and glared at Ruby. "Well, I'm done here."

Blake poked her finger at the book. "Was I being portrayed as the Cowardly Lion and the Cheshire Cat at the same time?"

Yang nodded to her. "And Nepeta from Homestuck."

Weiss rolled her eyes. "And Luna from Sailor Moon."

Ruby pouted. "You didn't even get to the part where Weiss turns out to be the White Witch..."

Weiss reacted in utter disgust at the thought. "You made me the Wicked Witch? Wait, does that mean Blake eats me at the end?"

Ruby shook her head. "No, Blake eats the ogre after tricking it into turning into a mouse with red shorts."

Weiss tossed the book over her shoulder, ignoring the fact that Blake caught it. "Whatever. I'm never touching that book again."

Ruby sulked. "But you didn't even get to the part with the Knights of the Round Table and Sonic the Hedgehog."

"You're portraying me as a heartless witch!" Weiss threw her arms in the air in frustration. "It's degrading to my status!"

Yang looked up from where she was trying to read further from over Blake's shoulder. "I thought it was pretty accurate."

Weiss snorted at Yang. "She portrayed you as a brainless retard."

Yang looked back at the book in Blake's hands. "What? I didn't notice that..."

Suddenly, Blake slammed the book shut. "Okay, I'm done. I draw the line at Carebears and Lassy." Before Yang or Ruby could object, Blake opened the window and tossed the book into the night. She nodded triumphantly at her handiwork. "Now that that's out of the way, purrhaps we can all go to bed."

Blake bounced her eyebrows. Ruby stifled a giggle. Yang didn't stifle anything.

Weiss cringed and thought to herself. "The next chapter had better not continue in this direction, or I quit school."

* * *

**And for my closing statement, I would like to say only this. HoNk!**


	2. Let's Break His!

Nora shot out of her seat. "Ooh! Let's break his legs!" There was silence at the table as everyone quietly looked around uncomfortably.

Then, Blake closed her book and set it down. "Cool. I'm in."

Pyrrha nodded. "Me too."

Yang shrugged. "Let's do this."

Ruby held up a finger. "Let me finish my cookies, then I'm with you."

Ren rested his head in his hands. "Why must you encourage her?"

* * *

"Ooh! Let's steal his Pokemons!"

Yang burst out laughing, while Blake explained to Nora. "That's a rather childish thing to do, only topped by how childish it would be to actually have Pokemon games at Beacon."

Weiss shot up and slammed her hands on the table, glaring at Blake. "That's not true!" Realizing that everyone was now staring at her, Weiss sat back down. "I mean... uh... yeah. Pokemon is for kids. Um... go team Jacob?"

Everyone was still staring at her. Pyrrha frowned. "Get away from us. Like, right now."

* * *

"Ooh! Let's post mean things about him on Twitter!"

Jaune sighed and shook his head. "I already tried that. It doesn't do anything. He doesn't check Twitter."

"Well, what does he do online?"

Pyrrha put her hand on Nora's shoulder and pulled her back down. "Cardin's the kind of guy who doesn't really use the internet that much, Nora."

A look of understanding appeared on Nora's face. "Oh... then let's post mean things about him on trees!"

"No."

"How about on the walls of the school?"

"Nora..."

"Yes?"

"No."

* * *

"Ooh! Let's blarg him in the honk honk!"

Yang blinked at Nora. "What in the what now?"

Everyone then stared at Nora until the next class started.

* * *

**Notes:** Yes, I know this one was short, but I really couldn't think of any more. Next time, however, will be different. Movie parodies.


	3. Movies and Games

**Ruby Makes A Movie**

Ruby was bouncing around the room, filled to the brim with ideas. These ideas were spilling over onto her teammates, who were for the most part eager to receive them. Blake and Yang were the most part. Weiss was not. What ideas were these? Well...

"We could get everyone around the school to help us film the movie! I'm sure there's plenty of people who would love the chance to be actors!"

That's right. Ruby wanted to make a movie. She had the video camera. She had the will. She just needed people who were willing to help her make it happen. Well... there was one other thing she needed, but she was already hot on the trail of one.

"So, how about this idea? A story about three brave heroes on a ship, hunting down a dangerous man-eating shark!"

Yang shook her head. "I like it, but where do we get a shark?"

Blake added her own piece. "And it's been done."

Ruby jumped up and down, already having another idea. "We can do a zombie movie. We can call it... Jaune Of The Dead! Of course, Jaune will be our lead actor!"

Yang shook her head again. "Ruby, zombies have been done to death."

Blake smirked. "And back again."

Ruby jumped on top of her bed and stared down at the two of them. "Well, then how about this? An asteroid is headed for Vytal."

Blake held up a finger. "I saw that movie. It hits Vale."

Still going strong, Ruby tossed out another idea. "Then how about a volcano erupts in the middle of the city?"

Yang scratched the back of her head, starting to think it wasn't a good idea. "I don't know that we'd be able to get permission for that."

Ruby held up her hands, calling for silence. "Okay, okay... I got it. You ready for this?" Blake and Yang nodded, though they had their doubts. Ruby jumped off her bed and landed between them, then stood straight with one hand on her hip and the other pointed skyward. "Beacon Academy Musical!"

That was the last straw for Weiss. She stood up and grabbed Ruby by the collar, dragging her to the door and tossing her out. She slammed the door shut, then turned two Blake and Yang. "Anyone else want to make a musical?" They could tell that saying yes might very well be fatal, so they simply shook their heads silently. Weiss nodded in triumph. "I'm glad balance has been restored to the brain to Human ratio in this room."

Meanwhile, across the hall, team JNPR listened intently to Ruby's plans for their great silver screen debut. Everything was going to go perfectly, and no dusty heiress was going to get in Ruby's way.

* * *

And now...

**RWBY Games**

Let's see how the girls of RWBY play video games, and which video games they play.

**Ruby**

When playing, you are part of the game. You are the character you control. When they win, you win. When they lose, you lose. When they die, you die. Play as if your very life is at stake.

Ruby Rose runs through the remains of the alien ship, the reanimated bodies of her fallen comrades and foes alike chasing her after being mutated by the alien parasite. She reloads her assault rifle as she runs, quickly ducking into a corner. The Flood will be on her soon.

Hearing their approach, Ruby grabs a flame grenade off her belt and readies it. She dodges out of her hiding place and tosses the incendiary, setting fire to three of the howling horde. More Flood blindly run through the flames, quickly collapsing to the ground in smoldering heaps.

One of the creatures leaps over the fire, swinging their long tentacled limb at Ruby's head. Her shields take the attack, but are heavily damaged in the process. She jumps back and fires her rifle into the combat form, blasting it's head and arms off. Another enemy falls, but the screeches all around her tell Ruby that the game is far from won.

So she runs. She runs and shoots down anything that gets in her path. Her objective is just in the next room. She's almost there when a Flood combat form wielding a rocket launcher fires at her, blasting away her shields and sending her flying into the wall. Ruby has fallen in battle.

Ruby jumps up from the couch, dropping her controller. "No! I was so close!" She ignores the game's respawning, falling to her knees in anguish and defeat. "I almost had it this time! CURSE YOU ROCKET FLOOD!"

* * *

**Weiss**

When playing, you are being challenged at an intellectual level by a mere programmed collection of ones and zeros. When you lose, you've been made a fool of. When you win, you have beaten the odds. Play as if your honor is at stake.

Weiss Schnee stepped from the path and into the tall grass. She had always ignored the warnings to avoid doing so, and always would. She was here to get something, and she wouldn't leave without it. As expected, a bird flew out of the grass and made to attack. A wild Pidgey appeared.

Weiss was ready, of course. She pulled a small red and white ball out of her bag and threw it at the ground. "Go get him, Charmander!" Out of the ball came a little orange lizard with a flame at the tip of it's tail. Weiss was proud to be the master of such a creature.

The battle had begun. Pidgey tried to attack Weiss' little dragon, but missed. Now it was Weiss' turn to move. "Alright! Charmander, use burn!" The Charmander did as commanded, shooting fire at the bird. The effect was far greater than Weiss could have hoped, and the Pidgey fainted.

Weiss jumped up from her seat, pumping her fist in the air. "Victory!"

Ruby blinked at her, somewhat confused. "You only started playing that a few minutes ago."

* * *

**Blake**

When playing, you have a freedom that is entirely unavailable in the real world. When you die, you come back to life. When you kill, you are easily forgiven. Nothing can trap you or catch you. Play as if this freedom is deserved.

Blake Belladonna ran through the woods in the dark of the night, a flashlight in one hand and three crumpled up pieces of paper in the other. If she understood the situation correctly, there was another five pages to collect.

She stopped outside an old deserted-looking building to catch her breath. She stepped into the building and walked through the dark tiled hallway. A few corners later, she found another door that led back outside. She was about to open the door when she noticed another piece of paper on the wall beside her.

Blake grabbed the piece of paper and crumpled it up with the others. She wasn't absolutely sure they were important, but she felt compelled to get all of them. Taking a moment longer to prepare herself for another long run, she briefly glanced behind her.

That was a big mistake. He was right there, tall and thin, his face pale and featureless. Soon, his face was all she could see among the static.

Blake jumped out of the computer chair and across the room, hiding herself under her blanket and screaming. "THE HORROR! THE HORROR!"

* * *

**Yang**

When playing, you must keep entertainment as your one goal. Win or lose, live or die, you should never stop playing until it is no longer fun. Play as if it is a game, for that is what it is.

Yang Xiao Long rested back in her chair, letting the time pass. Let the others spend their time wrestling with their games. Yang could go to sleep, and she would still progress in her favorite game. Her toils were simple and fruitful.

Sensing that she had waited long enough, Yang nudged the mouse. The screen saver flicked off, revealing her game. She frowned at what she saw. Her apple trees were ready, but all her carrots had been left far too long. They had all rotted away.

She didn't like it, but she knew that she now had to dig up all the dead carrots and plant new ones. She sighed. "Guess I'm gonna be here a bit longer than I expected."

Before Yang could successfully begin planting her new batch of carrots, Weiss jumped out behind her and smacked her across the back of the head with a suitcase. Yang tumbled out of the chair and away from the computer, yelping in surprise.

Weiss stood over her, glaring down at her with disdain. "Stop playing Farmville, you absent schnook!"

* * *

**Author's note: By the way, if anyone wants to see Jaune Of The Dead, I can do that too. Also, expect more RWBY Games in the future. There are plenty of games, and these girls will react to them.**


	4. Jaune Of The Dead

Jaune shuffled through the halls of Beacon, dragging his feet as much as he could. All around him were students and professors of Beacon acting in much the same way. Every now and again, Nora's head would hit Jaune's back, reminding him how closely she was following him.

He spotted the door he was looking for and shuffled over to it, glad that it was still closed. He stood right at the door so that no one would notice his hands working at the lock. As soon as he slipped the key in and turned it, he swung the door open.

Nora, Ren, Pyrrha, and Velvet rushed into Professor Port's classroom. Jaune hurried in after them, closing the door as quickly as possible. He wasn't quite fast enough, and one of the others wandering around the halls managed to jam themselves in the way.

Jaune pulled the door as hard as he could, yelling to his teammates. "Someone get this guy!"

Reacting instantly, Pyrrha ran up and kicked them in the face. They fell back into the hall, allowing Jaune to close the door. Finally, they had a moment of peace to figure out where they stood. Jaune slid down with his back to the door and looked around at the few people who had managed to survive.

Pyrrha sat down beside him. "Alright, Jaune. We're here. Now what?"

Nora opened a closet near Professor Port's desk. "There's a lot of stuff stored in here! We've got food!"

Velvet, who was looking through the closet with Nora, found something else of interest. She pulled out the small object and turned it on. "Alright! This'll help pass the time!"

Ren glanced at it questioningly. "You're going to play video games while everyone in the school is trying to eat us?"

She looked to the door Jaune and Pyrrha were sitting against. "They're not getting in and we're not getting out any time soon. We got nothing else to do."

Pyrrha stood up and got everyone's attention. "But what happens when they do get in? We were caught completely off guard! We don't have any of our weapons with us!"

Nora looked up from the closet. "Can we even fight them? I know they're all zombies and everything, but-"

"Don't say that word."

Everyone looked to Jaune. Nora's eyebrow arched. "Don't say what word?"

Jaune stood up, keeping his back to the door. "The... the 'z' word. Don't say it."

Velvet paused her game. "The 'z' word? You mean 'zombie'?"

Jaune flinched. "Don't say it!"

"Why not?" Her finger was hovering over the pause button dramatically, as if anyone else cared if she played the game.

Jaune threw his hands in the air. "Because it's ridiculous!"

Pyrrha snapped her fingers in Jaune's ear. "More importantly, we're defenseless. What do we use as weapons?"

Velvet pointed up above everyone's heads and Professor Port's weapon that was mounted on the wall. "The Professor always keeps it loaded, so we've at least got something."

Jaune shook his head. "Sorry, but I doubt he really keeps it loaded."

Velvet nodded. "Yes he does! Yang told me that Professor Port always keeps his weapon loaded."

Jaune was getting frantic. "Yang also says that Beowolves can't look up!"

"They bloody can't!"

"Of course they can!"

"Jaune! Velvet!" Pyrrha called attention from the two. "Shouldn't we at least check?"

Velvet dropped her arms to her side. "I hardly think now is the time. Besides, where are we gonna get a Beowolf in the middle of a zombie invasion?"

Jaune flailed his arms wildly. "Stop calling them zombies!"

Before any further argument could be made, there was the sound of splintering wood as the zombies in the hall pulled the door apart. They all scrambled away from the door just as the horde pulled the wooden wreckage aside. Jaune turned to face the horde, seeing the tall figure leading the charge.

"Guess we get to break his legs now." Nora cheered happily.

Jaune watched in horror as a zombified Cardin headed straight for him. "Uh, I think there's still some of him left in there."

Behind him, Pyrrha was frantically looking for an escape. "How do you know, Jaune?"

"Well, cause he's staring right at me like he wants to rip me in half."

BANG

Zombie Cardin fell over, and every head in the room turned to the source of the sound. Velvet stood on Professor Port's desk, wielding the blunderbuss ax. She looked over to Jaune pointedly. "Told you he keeps it loaded."

Jaune shrugged. "Fine. Toss it here." She did so, and he caught the weapon and aimed it at another zombie, adding commentary as he fired. "But Beowolves can look up."

A few shots later, with the others all crowded behind him and the zombies closing in, Jaune spotted something out in the hall. Four bright streaks of color flew past, followed by a wake of zombie pieces. From out in the hall, they heard someone shout.

"Hey ho! Survivors back there!"

Moments later, the room was cleared of zombies in a whirlwind of fire, ice, and rose petals. Then, standing in front of them and posing like they were the main cast of an anime, were Ruby, Weiss, and Yang.

Ruby saluted happily. "Zombie removal service has arrived!"

Weiss rolled her eyes. "Stop calling them that, Ruby. That word is ridiculous."

Yang squinted at the five other survivors in front of her, then laughed. "So what are you supposed to be? Team JNPRV?" She looked over at her teammates. "Get it? As in 'Juniperv'?"

Weiss slumped over in dismay. "Yang, please shut up."

Pyrrha stepped forward, looking behind the three girls. "Um... where's Blake?"

Team RWY looked at each other uncomfortably before Yang answered. "Yeah... she, uh... well, the last we saw her, she was running out of the room yelling 'my ninjas'."

Weiss added her own bit. "We think she might be unstable."

Suddenly, the whole school shook from an impact. Yang grabbed Myrtenaster and stabbed it into the ground to hold herself steady, ignoring the fact that this caused Weiss to fall down. She looked around. "What the heck was that?"

Pyrrha looked to Jaune. "What is it? More zombies?"

Jaune shook his head. He had a bad feeling. "Worse."

* * *

**Maybe perhaps sometime in the near-to-distant future, if you want it and I can do it, a sequel to this chapter! Are you ready for this?**

**Jaune Of The Flood**  
**Coming soon**  
**Maybe**

**If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know. I've already got plenty of ideas for things to do, but I intend to keep this going forever.**


	5. Blake's Bow 1

**Framing Weiss**

* * *

Ruby held the camera up and turned the screen around so she could see what she looked like. She fixed her hair and smiled at the camera in her hand. It was time to begin.

"Hi, I'm Ruby Rose! I absolutely love..." She reached off-screen and pulled her weapon into view. "Crescent Rose! She's my baby!"

Ruby then turned the camera around to face her friend and partner, Weiss. The white-haired girl glared at her. "What do you want from me?"

"Just introduce yourself. Say your name, and then say something about yourself."

Weiss shrugged. "Alright, fine... My name is Weiss Schnee, and I'm the heiress of the Schnee Dust Company." She looked to Ruby. "You can go bother someone else now."

"But you're supposed to say something about yourself!"

"I did! You want something else, then here!" She looked back at the camera. "My name is Weiss Schnee and my partner may or may not have misplaced her brain, depending on whether or not she had one to misplace."

Ruby turned the camera back around so that it was facing her. "Yeah, so that's Weiss. She doesn't understand video, so now you know something about her."

The camera then turned to a dark-haired girl who was busy reading a book. Two violet cat ears twitched freely on top of her head. She had caught on to Ruby's mission, and was willing to cooperate immediately. Putting her book down for a moment, she smiled at the camera.

"Hello. My name is Blake Belladonna, and I'm totally the most serious person here. Ever." With that, she returned to her book.

Ruby didn't question it and simply moved up to the bunk above Blake's where Yang was sprawled out and drooling. The blond was sleeping, and therefor not much to interview. Fortunately, Blake offered assistance.

"Here, I'll wake her up." Instead of any normal means, however, Blake took her ribbon and dragged it across Yang's face. Still asleep, Yang reacted by slapping at the offending ribbon. Unfortunately, someone had seen fit to cover Yang's hand with a full tube's worth of Shi-nee toothpaste.

Blake ducked back into her own bunk and promptly fell asleep. Ruby was stunned, and when she finally snapped back to reality she found herself looking into the toothpaste-covered face of an angry Yang.

"I'ma gonna kill you!"

Ruby ducked out of the way as Yang launched forward, but was surprised to find that she wasn't the target. The real target, dressed in a white nightgown, ran out the door and down the hallway screaming. An enraged Yang charged off after Weiss, leaving Ruby completely speechless.

By the time the two returned, Ruby had already uploaded the video to the internet for all to see.

* * *

**And now, a message from a cast member to hold you over until 'Jaune Of The Dead 2: Nora's Arc' is ready.**

Dear fans,

While I admire all the attention I've been getting here on FF, I have to say that I'm not all pleased about it. To put it simply; Ruby's not my type, she's too young for me, and she's far too annoying for me to ever consider romantically. I'm not even going to go into the fact that she's a girl, because you all seem set on the lot of us being all for f/f. I can pretty much guarantee that most of us are straight. Pyrrha and Blake? Well... that's a different story.

Sincerely, Weiss Schnee.

P.S. Here's your obligatory fanservice. Ruby's been nibbling on my ear since I started writing this, so I guess you can call her orientation into question as well. Whatever. FML. Weiss out.


	6. Immunity or Jaune Of The Dead 2

Yang's fiery aura burst forward, consuming the oncoming swarm. Ruby aimed Crescent Rose and fired multiple rounds, taking out the frontrunners of the next wave. When it seemed that they were far enough ahead, they turned and ran to catch up with the rest of the group. Besides them, there was also Weiss, the entirety of team JNPR, and Velvet Scarlatina.

When the zombie hordes had been all but defeated an alien ship crash-landed and unleashed a worse plague. These creatures were called the flood. The smaller infection forms swarmed over people and zombies alike, turning them into the larger combat forms. The small group barely made it out of Beacon alive.

Jaune looked to the survivors, and they looked to him. He held up a finger. "One second. I need to survey the area."

They were in the backyard of a home in some rural area of Vale. There had obviously been children in this home at some point, as there was a swing set and a slide in the yard. Jaune climbed the three steps to the top of the slide and looked around, shielding his eyes from the sun. What he saw was disheartening.

Stepping back to the ground, he met the hopeful gaze of his friends. Velvet's eyes were wide, showing how frightened she was. "Are there many?"

He nodded. "Yup. Lots."

At the back, Yang glanced at her arm and exclaimed, "Oh, hey, looks like I've been bit."

Everyone suddenly gasped in horror. Ruby rushed over to her sister and embraced her. "No! You can't be bit! Why does it have to be you?" She broke down sobbing.

Yang patted her sister's head. "Ruby… it's just a Mosquito bight. It's nothing to cry over."

Ruby jumped back. "A Mosquito bight!? Why you…!"

"Guys… little help here."

All eyes turned to see… a walking pile of infection forms.

Yang jumped into action, firing Ember Celica and blasting away all the disgusting little balls of mutation. Underneath the creatures she found a pristine and untouched Blake Belladonna. The Faunus girl just watched them as they all stared at her in disbelief.

Blake shrugged. "I think I'm immune. That's all I got."

Ruby pumped her fist in the air. "Yeah! Team RWBY is back together!"

Weiss looked Blake up and down. "So… did you save your… ninjas?"

Blake narrowed her eyes at Weiss. "That's none of your business."

Jaune called everyone's attention back to the situation at hand. "Hey guys? We have zombies and stuff to deal with."

Weiss turned to Jaune. "Stop using that word!"

Yang rolled her eyes. "You know what? I think I'm gonna go shake some hands with those infection forms. It would be more productive than this."

Everyone turned to look at Yang, then froze. Ruby tried to speak as calmly as possible. "Uh… Yang? There's something on your head."

Yang stopped. "What is it, like, a spider? Get it off."

Being ever so helpful, Nora answered for everyone. "Nope! Looks more like a crab."

CHOMP

Ruby looked on the verge of crying. "Um… Yang?"

Yang turned around, revealing that the Headcrab had been unable to succeed in its attack because of her massive amount of hair. The creature was simply hanging off the back of her head, having completely failed at its life goal. Yang reached up and pulled it off, holding out for all to see.

After a moment of silence, Yang just laughed. "Cute. I think I'll call it Daisy."

Weiss fainted.

* * *

**Author's Note: There will be a third part somewhere down the road consisting of a Half Life 2 parody, possibly with a crowbar that turns into a gravity gun. Also, I had another idea and maybe next chapter or something we'll see who Ruby's father might be! Now, if anyone has any suggestions please tell me in a review, or maybe a PM. I'll gladly do any that are within my ability.**

**Tell me what you think. Would Yang be immune to Headcrabs because her hair is simply too big? Should Blake be immune to the Flood virus? Is it because she's a Faunus?**


End file.
